Helpful Tips For Caring For Your Older Loved One At Home

Introduction

When we are young our parents are the ones who look after us, they care for us and protect us from harm, so it can be quite jarring when you notice them needing care themselves.

If you have recently noticed that your loved one requires additional help around the home then you may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. At CareYourWay we have been providing quality home care for the past 16 years, in this post we guide you through the steps to take to ensure you are providing the best care for your loved one whilst relieving some of the uncertainty that can come with caring for an older relative at home.

Asses Your Loved One’s Needs

Firstly, it is wise to asses your loved one’s needs, we have compiled a list of a person’s basic needs, personal and around their home. Use this list as a starting point and make a note of how much support they currently get for each and how much assistance they require additionally to keep well and healthy.

For instance, if your relative was to injure their wrist and are unable to cook and prepare meals for themselves, is there a friend or family member close by in the area able to help them with this? If not then you may look towards hiring a meal delivery service or a home carer to provide the support they need.

• Medical needs, such as remembering to take prescriptions
• Mobilty 
• Personal hygiene and cleanliness around their home
• Preperation of meals
• Errands, such as shopping for necessities and collecting medications
• Money management and paying household bills

Be Realistic About Your Own Needs and Commitments

Once you are fully aware of what your loved one needs to be safe and well, and before you assume that you are able to provide full time care for your loved one, take a look at your own circumstances and be realistic of your own needs and commitments.

Some key questions to ask yourself that you may not have considered are:

• Are you physically fit enough to carry out the demands of caring for someone else?
• Do you live near enough to your loved one to be there as and when needed?
• Would you be able to spend a lot of time with the person and it not affect your relationship in a negative way?
• If your loved one develops the need for 24/7 care, would you be able to live with them in their house or your own?

Providing care for a loved one is rewarding but it can also be very demanding at times, physically, mentally and emotionally for the care provider. Caring for someone can also make you lose sight on your own well-being. If you are currently suffering from your own health conditions then you may not be able to provide the necessary care your loved one needs.

Make Sure to Involve Your Loved one in the Decision Making

Your loved one may be concerned that they are losing some of their independence, so ensure that you are keeping them involved in all of the decision making, every step of the way, after all, they will be impacted most by the decisions made. You may want to start by introducing less intrusive assistance to start, as long as they are not in any immediate threat of harm, and increasing levels of support as and when required.

You should of course, take into account their preferences of care as well as your own requirements. Encourage them to put forward what they would like from the care provider, when and how often to receive it. Your relative could be feeling lonely, but hasn't raised this before and they may feel they would benefit from additional visitors through the week, make sure to have these discussions to ensure their needs are fully met.

Be Compassionate and Approach the Topic With Sensitivity

We know it isn’t the easiest subject to be discussing with a loved one, but it is important these discussions take place. Remember, your loved one has been independent for a very long time, so it is only natural if they do instantly battle with the thought of additional support. They may also have some anxiety and worries of what will be changing in their lives.

Be sure to explain your concerns around their current living conditions and worries for them being able to cope on their own, remind them that you only have their best interest at heart and looking after their well being. Keep it positive and optimistic, sharing what they could benefit from with additional support and it will help improve their quality of life.

Work Out the Costs

There are all sorts of costs to consider when looking into supporting a loved one at home. You will need to look at your loved one’s finances as well as your own. With a better idea of their financial situation, you will better placed to know if they are able to afford the cost of care required or if they will require financial assistance. It is always best to plan ahead when it comes to financial decisions.

Expenses can creep up as a result of mobility or dexterity issues, you may require home safety modifications and assisted living aids like ramps or hand rails to help your loved one around the home. For more ways to keep your loved one's home a safe place please see our previous article - Steps to Make Your Older Loved One's Home Safer.

If you are looking to provide care yourself then you may need to reduce your hours at work to offer your support, which will then have an effect on your own finances. You can check your eligibility for carer’s allowance if you care for someone at least 35 hours a week and they get certain benefits. See https://www.gov.uk/carers-allowance for more information. Keeping in mind your own well being, you may require the services of Respite Care for some time for yourself to focus on your own needs and mental health. 

Make Sure Communication and Relationships Are Accessible

Feelings of loneliness and isolation can have an impact on your loved ones overall health. See our previous article The Importance of Socialising and Companionship.

When delivering care for your loved one in their own home and to keep loneliness at bay a good tip is to have a mobile phone or house phone accessible for your loved one with numbers of friends and family so all they need to do is pick up the phone for a conversation, or to arrange a social visit.

Your loved one may even benefit from the services of a care provider, who offer a companionship care service which means there are more familiar faces available to speak to and offer them emotional support.

Establish a Routine

A routine is an important factor when it comes to care at home, it eliminates the anxiety which comes from uncertainty and helps your loved one know exactly what to expect from each day. Setting times for meals, bedtimes and medications will also be beneficial to you as you will be able to manage your own time better. Be sure to set times around your loved one’s current schedule and what they feel comfortable with, so not to let them think their lives are being ran for them. Give them the control over when and how often they do things, making sure you keep in mind your own capabilities and restrictions.